PROVERBS 27

Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."

Friendships are a part of every season of life—but the real question is: what kind of friends do we have, and what kind of friend are we?

Over the years, I’ve had many different kinds of friends—some who were good influences and others, well, not so much. I think back to my closest friends from high school, many of whom I’ve reconnected with in recent years. At one point in life, they weren’t necessarily pushing me toward the best version of myself. But time has passed—we’ve all grown up, started families, and taken very different paths in life. Reconnecting with them has been a gift. We laugh a lot now at the ridiculous things we used to do. And just to be clear—we weren’t terrible teenagers. We were just typical teens. But even then, I sensed God had different plans for my life, plans that might require me to leave the comfort of my hometown in order to fully step into His calling.

As I've gotten older, my circle of close friends has become smaller—but deeper. God has blessed me with two close friends, both ironically sharing the same first name, who consistently challenge me to be a better husband, father, and follower of Christ. One of them has been in my life for over 30 years, and the other serves alongside me in full-time ministry. I’m incredibly thankful for both.

What makes these friendships so meaningful is the healthy friction and accountability they bring. Just as iron sharpens iron, real sharpening happens when there’s enough closeness and trust to allow for honest conversations—even when they’re uncomfortable. Growth often requires some constructive tension. It takes truth spoken in love, the courage to confront and encourage, and a mutual desire to see each other become who God created us to be.

Having friends who push us, challenge us, and bring out the best in us is essential for a healthy spiritual life. That's why it's so important to be intentional about who we allow to "brush up against" us. Proverbs is clear: godly friendships lead to growth, wisdom, and strength (Proverbs 12:5; 15:22; 17:17), while ungodly companions can steer us down paths of destruction (Proverbs 13:20; 22:24–25; 23:20).

When I was 17, I prayed a prayer much like the one below. That prayer led me away from some friendships I had known for years. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary—and God honored it by bringing the right people into my life at just the right time.

PRAYER

Father, give me the courage to step away from relationships that are not helping me grow in You. Surround me with friends who will sharpen me, challenge me, and point me toward Your truth. Help me to trust You with every area of my life—including my friendships—and make me the kind of friend who helps others grow in You too. Amen.